Is Trust the Anchor in your Relation... Ship??

A mentoree of mine recently called me up for some relationship advice. In most cases, in regards to relationships, when it comes to a “problem”, it is going to revolve around trust. Think about it, when communication fails.. Trust. Insecurities.. Trust... Cheating... Trust. 

I see it this way, if you do not have trust in your relationship, that is, if the foundation of your relationship is not built on trust, then you are headed for disaster. I really do not understand the whole trust thing anyhow. Like all things, I guess its all in the level of maturity. What I do not understand is that if you do not trust a person or if your afraid of that will leave you, why put yourself through so much distress? Why consume your time being jealous, reading their messages, getting mad when they want to go hang out with their friends, calling them every five minutes to see where they are. This process is only accomplishing one thing, preventing the inevitable. Its like trying to prevent a flood with a bucket of water. You may catch some things, but eventually the flood is going to come regardless. Do not waste your valuable time or energy. If a person really wants to be with you... guess what?? They are going to be with you. If a person is going to cheat on you?? This is no big secret, they are going to cheat on you! 

We have to find value in ourselves and know our own worth. Why should we lessen our value by losing our self-worth in the fight for someone who does not want us? It just does not make sense. I know some of you are probably saying, “But you do not understand, we have been through so much.” Yes, I hear where you are coming from, but we can’t let that comfortability be the crutch that keeps the relationship afloat. To love someone is to trust that person. To believe that this person always has your best interest at hand. Trust is not checking on Facebook to see who they are talking to, waiting until they leave the room and glancing through their text messages, or trying to control who they hang out with. Trust is knowing that no matter what, this person love you and at the end of the night, they are coming home to you!

I’d like to know what you think.. Can a relationship survive without trust? We’d like to hear what you have to say. Post a comment below or check me out on Facebook, Hemory Phifer. Notice I said check me out and not check up on me :)