AT A LOST FOR WORDS...

Have you ever had so much to say that words just didn't seem to be enough? I mean words just didn't seem to be the method in which you could transfer meaning to these thoughts. I've tried, countless times to commit myself to writing. When I was younger, it came so simple. Words just seemed to spill on the pages from my heart. It was easy to find inspiration. Life was so full of hope and wonder. Life was a lot simpler. And maybe that's what it is. Life used to be a lot simpler. Some how I have let all these years catch up with me and the simple has compound into this complex mound of baggage. I have tried so desperately to get back to the man I used to be, never accepting that we all change. To change is to progress. We are not the people we used to be for a reason. I, just need to come one with this revelation and accept the change. See, I look at what my life used to be and the differences between the then and the now, is time. Sure, I've gotten a few more grey hairs, maybe a bruise or two, both metaphorically and physically, but time can make a simple thing more complex. And maybe the complexity of life lies in my changing views. But how does this all effect my wring. I speak words in my heart, my life is a  transcript of the greatest story ever told, yet I lack the words to convey my message to you. 

Greeting people of the artistic world! It has been so long since I have graced the pages of this wonderful blog. I was pleased to see that there are still many who come and read my post. If you have been touched, inspired, reached a revelation, liked, loved, hated. or anything that has sparked an emotional charge by my post, please comment below! I want to connect with you all!

Dear fans, it has been a while since I have made a new post. I suppose my excuse is I have been out gathering material. You know.. Life, that is.  I have been living life seeking inspiration to touch the hearts of millions and nourish the dreams of our youth in hopes to spark the mind that will one day change this world. But in the mean time, I leave you with this...

Alone: In a Library of People

I know this may seem cliche', but in a room full of people, I sometimes feel alone. The irony in such a statement is the fact that it holds so much truth. As I sit amongst the masses, I allow my eyes to wander. I bare witness to the people emerged in conversation. I witness the many others, physically alone, mingling with their eyes. I see the "populars", the life of the parties if you will and I realize how alone we really are. The experiences, tragedies, trials, tribulations, goods, and bads all has brought us to this brief moment in time. Though we are there, in the company of others, how together are we really? We are usually so engulfed in our own thoughts, our own motives, our futures, our past, that we are essentially alone in this room full of people. In this library of experience I scan the faces for their story. I search for the laughter in a wrinkle. The weight of the world on hunched shoulders. The trip ups of life in a limp. The wisdom of the soul through each individuals eyes. I read each detail like a personal synopsis to the story of their lives. So many untold stories in one room, makes me realize how small our world really is and how alone I really am. If only I could get the time to speak with each individual person. To learn their lives, to hear their stories. Then maybe I would feel a sense of connection. A sense of togetherness. As people we are so withdrawn from knowing one another on an intimate level. It baffles me to realize that people we have known for years, whom we consider friend, yet we couldn't tell one their dreams and aspirations, their fears. Sure we can tell you their favorite color, the city they were born in, maybe even who they are in a relationship with, but so can hundreds of their Facebook friends. To truly know someone is to know their story. The experiences that has shaped their lives and made them the person they are at this very moment. When you have gained this insight, been granted the opportunity to have this connection, maybe then in a room full of people, it won't seem so lonely.

A speech that just makes sense... Common Sense!

I recently had the pleasure of seeing Common recently at Oakland University. Ha gave a refreshing, yet inspirational speech focused on the topic of "Greatness". A very humble man and a very poised speaker, Common takes the audience on a personal journey throughout his life and career. The audience was able to connect with the Hip Hop icon's sensitive and humorous side. But let me not keep you waiting, feel free to judge for yourself. Below, are the videos of the speech I actually got a chance to record. The video quality isn't the best, but the message is definitely clear. Enjoy!

She Got Her Own!

Shout out to all my stay at home fathers out there.

Women today are embracing corporate and executive positions that demand them to be away from home and their families for extended periods of time. Regulating men to domesticated duties.

The percentage of female breadwinners has grown significantly. Today women are out graduating men in college and contributing to their households more than ever. In short, They Getting That Bread.

In the 1940`s as men went to support the war effort they left both their families and respective work at home to fight over seas. As a result of the lack of men to fill the factories and jobs across the country, women went to work in unprecedented numbers. This influx of women in the work changed how men thought of themselves.



Back then, and for some today, a man without work is depressing, horrible and despicable. Today this feeling is no stranger to new "Stay at home dads" and men not "Bringing home the bacon."


But to all of you miserable men because your lady is making the money. Get over it! Support it! Women, for a long time were only regulated to domesticity. As a result of both merit and hard work, more and more ladies are deserving and accepting  roles as CEO`s, Partners and Executives.

I see you ladies!


To my future CEO lady out there  I`ll change them diapers, feed them babies, read them stories and clean the house BUT baby make sure I get my Cal (me) time too when you're free.

Its time to give it up to all my ladies and fellas doing their thing. Genuine support comes in complimentary not competitive ways. So if your lady is bringing home the bread, and you the "MAN" are storing it, get over it. Play your role, be thankful you have it. Being a man, is First, being the teammate and support system to Woman.

Shout out to all my Stay at Home Fathers out there enabling their ladies to achieve great successes from the BEDROOM to BOARDROOM and BEYOND.

Cal`s Message to Lamardelorians

Thank you to the people at Lamar Delores for the space to share  my most intimate of thoughts, emotions, and inquiries.

I want YOU to; struggle with, laugh at, make fun of, relate to, discuss, break down, think about, argue, take to the street, get high and wonder on, illuminate,explicate, emotionally outburst to, lie to your girlfriend/boyfriend about, tell a friend some,chew on, BS about, AND read as much as you can handle.

_ I have read and understand the above disclaimer.

Cal & Company 2011

LCALEDELLIIW

I  eat famous biographies for breakfast, novels for lunch, and classics for bed time. I have decided it is time to pick up metaphorical pen and share with all of you...

Your favorite talker turned reader.


Ladies and gentlemen prepare for a refreshing combination of coolness and sophistication similar to a mint.


"I am me. You are who are you. I want all of you to enjoy this experience with no biases other than that of your own, which will subsequently be altered or shut down"
                                                                                                         -Unknown

Much Love,
El Caldwell II

Is Trust the Anchor in your Relation... Ship??

A mentoree of mine recently called me up for some relationship advice. In most cases, in regards to relationships, when it comes to a “problem”, it is going to revolve around trust. Think about it, when communication fails.. Trust. Insecurities.. Trust... Cheating... Trust. 

I see it this way, if you do not have trust in your relationship, that is, if the foundation of your relationship is not built on trust, then you are headed for disaster. I really do not understand the whole trust thing anyhow. Like all things, I guess its all in the level of maturity. What I do not understand is that if you do not trust a person or if your afraid of that will leave you, why put yourself through so much distress? Why consume your time being jealous, reading their messages, getting mad when they want to go hang out with their friends, calling them every five minutes to see where they are. This process is only accomplishing one thing, preventing the inevitable. Its like trying to prevent a flood with a bucket of water. You may catch some things, but eventually the flood is going to come regardless. Do not waste your valuable time or energy. If a person really wants to be with you... guess what?? They are going to be with you. If a person is going to cheat on you?? This is no big secret, they are going to cheat on you! 

We have to find value in ourselves and know our own worth. Why should we lessen our value by losing our self-worth in the fight for someone who does not want us? It just does not make sense. I know some of you are probably saying, “But you do not understand, we have been through so much.” Yes, I hear where you are coming from, but we can’t let that comfortability be the crutch that keeps the relationship afloat. To love someone is to trust that person. To believe that this person always has your best interest at hand. Trust is not checking on Facebook to see who they are talking to, waiting until they leave the room and glancing through their text messages, or trying to control who they hang out with. Trust is knowing that no matter what, this person love you and at the end of the night, they are coming home to you!

I’d like to know what you think.. Can a relationship survive without trust? We’d like to hear what you have to say. Post a comment below or check me out on Facebook, Hemory Phifer. Notice I said check me out and not check up on me :) 

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” - Bob Marley

Food for Thought

     I recently revisited a well known figure in the psychological and philosophical disciplines.  I so happened to run across one of his quotes in a book I was recently reading, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey. The quote goes, 

      

     "Today we come across an individual who behaves like an automaton, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person that he knows is the person that he is supposed to be, whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, whose synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter, and whose sense of dull despair has replaced genuine pain. Two statements may be said concerning this individual. One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon this earth." - Erich Fromm

     The quote intrigued me so much I decided to find other quotes by the late Erich Fromm. All his quotes seemed to make complete sense to me. You know how you just have those moments in life where the situation, your train of thought, your sense of being is just in the right spot to be open to such profound information? Well, that was me, in fact that is me, currently.

      I meditated on this quote and the other quotes I found. My mind started to wonder and gears began shifting and before I knew it, I felt like I had everything figured out. I felt as if my eyes had opened for the very first time. Everything he said and what I was thinking, just felt right. 

     This is what I realized. We are all shaped or conditioned by many things in life; media, beliefs, morals, traditions, culture, etc. These things depict the way in which we view the world. Put it this way, lets say that we view the world through a pair of glasses. Those glasses are made up of the traditions, beliefs, biases, stereotypes, and your culture. When viewing the world through these spectacles you see the world according to these things. If you dare take those glasses off and see the world without them.. You see the world for what it really is, no biases, no prejudices, no projection of your own thoughts and beliefs that are conditioned in your being. 

      The problem here is that we are all irrational creatures. Lets take a subject that is dear to my heart, Love. If you’ve followed my posting here you will see that I am what many would call, “A hopeless romantic”. Yes, I believe that we all have soul mates, in everlasting love, and happily ever afters. If you take the time and think about it. These are all completely irrational thoughts. We view romantic love as this magical substance that is found by chance, if you happen to be lucky or that only exist in fairytales. You fall in love with a person and they mean the world to you, you cant live without that person, they are the air you breathe. In essence you feel as if you need that person to live. A person that just a few months ago was a complete stranger to you. Does this not sound a bit irrational to you? The only rational point to be made here is that you choose to fall in love. It is a choice and it doesn't just happen. Yes, there are many variables and special circumstances that allow this phenomena, but in the end it was a choice.

     We see this form of love and then we see the love for people that we did not choose. Your mom, your dad, your brothers, sisters...etc. You had no choice in choosing wether to love these people. You were born into a family and over time experienced the good and the bad, tragedies, happy moments, and you were conditioned to feel intimately close to these people. We just so happened decided to call that love. How is that we can meet someone and a few months later say we love them and in the same token grow up with someone our entire lives and still have the same love? My theory is that love is the product of time and experience. Put into practice, if we spend enough time with a person, indulge in multiple experiences with this individual, we will grow to love them. After all if we look at the premise of marriage in its beginnings this is what happened. Two people were married under certain family obligations, not love, and in time they grew to love one another. 

     Somehow love changed and the whole premise behind marriage evolved into this romantic fairytale. There is no mystery what changed it because the truth is in the media. Fairytales and Disney movies introduced us to this new romantic love and happily ever afters. Then Hollywood adopts this and goes wild with it. Don’t get me wrong I am not against love. I again, am a “Hopeless Romantic” by nature. I just feel that we should take the time and examine the irrationalities of the concept of love. We should take the time to examine the irrationalities in life. Love, such as life, is what you make it. Then again this entire article may just be a phase...

     Lets discuss this further, if this caught your interest and you want to continue this discussion.. Check me out on Facebook... Hemory Phifer or comment right under here... Until next time... Keep it rational people!!

Poetic Fix

We need to start appreciating our Black Women more!! Only if all men thought this way... Speak Joshua Bennett!

Poetic Fix

Poetic Fix

"I sleep walk because I'm trying to live my dreams.." Wow, this poet makes some profound statements. Enjoy!

See she had the deepest blue eyes that a man has ever gazed in.
And i found myself drowning in the depths of passion, on the brink of sumthin amazing.
And I knew that to the heart there's a 100 ways in, but to the soul there's only one.
So I found myself tryin to be a student of her existence but instead I'm just a pupil and the lessons had just begun.
I attempted to read her thoughts so that the imformation would be optimal, but in the depths of her eyes everything was optical, an illusion.
And there I found myself a mist of all her doubts, fears, turmoils and counfusions...
I took a peek at her memories, somethings seemed to be faded while others peered to be timeless.
And as I searched the contents of her soul there I found the word "love" embedded in her iris.
I soon could hear the oceans of joy and despair and it seemed to draw closer with every blink of her eyelids.
I could feel the emotions in the air and the feelings keep growing.
Until they reached a climax and the tears started flowing.
All I wanted to know from the look in her eyes if she could possibly adore me.
But when I found my self in this stream of emotion running down her cheek I knew that she not only cried for me.
Becuz in all actuality her tears was me.
And there was no need to question if she loves me.
When the tear hit the grounds surface I stood up, ran to her, embraced her in my arms, stopped her tears with a kiss.
And asked her simply" tell me my love how can I ever love you like this??"

It Boggles me how in the game of Life someone can Scrabble your thoughts so much that they create a Monopoly within your mind. Of course they have no Clue that you have embarked upon this Trivial Pursuit to get these newfound emotions off your Chess. I wish I could tell you that this would be easy, Sorry to sink your Battle Ship per say, but there is always Risk involved when declaring your love for someone. My advice is to run with this sort of Outburst of emotion through the the Chutes and Ladders that life will bring. Because true love is a rare occurrence and yes, there is strategy involved, but most times you have to play with the hand you were dealt. But somewhere in the back of your mind you continually hope that its just one roll away.

Love at first sight?

Have you ever met someone and things just seemed to be meant to be? I know it sounds silly, and in most cases I would agree. I mean the whole concept of love at first sight is an irrational mind set. You question, "How can one love someone they just met?" What do we base this "love" upon? But...yes there is always a but, there are those times where phenomenas do occur and who gives a rats behind about having a reason to explain? It happens in movies. Its within the context of great fairytales. In the melodies of love songs and acted out in numerous plays. Is it so far fetched for one to hold on to this concept of love at first sight? After all, love it self is sort of an irrational emotion in its own regards. But, we are not questioning love here.. it is its presence when we first meet a person which is on trial. 

 There comes those moments in life where the planets are aligned just right, the moon and stars are in perfect cosmic harmony, and time yields to your interaction with that one special person. You indulge in great conversation, you finish the sentences of one another, you may even murmur the same phrase at the exact same time. Your eyes meet and you can see a reflection of the sparkle in your eyes or is that just a reciprocation of interest and intrigue? The world, oh the world is at a stand still.. words have taken on deeper meaning and you witness their birth as they spill off her lips. There you sat lingering to her every letter, syllable, and sentence. Conversation is natural, the chemistry is something to marvel at, and yes, dare I say it, to an innocent bystander, love is definitely in the air. 

Is this dilation of the pupil or thumping of the heart or sense of comfort the defining factors in this love at first sight theory? Some may call it infatuation, some may say its just the wonders of that "newness" but I say that in a parallel universe, written in the book of happy endings, that this is love. Maybe not in the same regards as we know it and perhaps not even at its full potential. But that is what we see in these moments, the potential. Isn't that all love is?? The potential to fall madly, insanely, irrationally for someone that you would give everything to experience it? 

Sitting across from this beautiful woman, our life flashed before my eyes. I could see our children playing,  our wedding day, kissing her in the rain, absorbing her very essence. And as she called my name and I awoke from this trance.. I knew that I didn't  care about anyones opinion, because if this isn't love at first sight. Then at least I know that we are on the cuspid of true love.

Wanna Love You

I dont wanna fight, I just wanna love you til it hurts.

I wanna love you until it births, a deep intimacy that defines the for better or for worse.

I wanna love you until i cant love anyone else and even after that I wanna love you more. 

I wanna love you so much that I cheat on you with the thought of loving you and realize that its only you i adore.

I wanna love the sweet scent of your pheremones, the depths of your pupils, and fall in love with your genetic make up.

I wanna get lost with your love in my dreams and have amnesia when i wake up, just so i can re-remember how it feels to love you, touch you, to inhale your essence.

But see I love you so much it borderline obsession. And I miss loving you so much its beyond recession, its borderline depression.

See you cant blame me if my eyes seem to be a bit moist.

And you cant blame me for going through that photo album over and over, please believe its not just by choice. 

And so what if i replayed your message 100 times just to hear your voice. 

And at first all I heard was, " Hemory its time we both see the truth. baby im sorry but i can no longer see me with you.

But it changed to " Hemory its time we both see the truth. But baby I cant see me without you!" Thats when i realized its not about you, nor is it about me, but my love its about "we" or "us" and i dont need a poem to discuss, how much i love you.

See baby i dont wanna fight no more and if I cant love you than i dont wanna write no more.All I wanna know is that you still care.

So I give you my pen and my heart and a blank canvas and you try and recreate the love that we shared.

Writers Block

I sat there with pen and paper with the desire to write.

But the more I tried and force it the harder the fight.
See it started out as a love poem, you know the kind 
filled with romantic metaphores and similes.
The I love yous and the you and me's.
But I knew that not having this in real life could ruin me.
So I decided to write sumthin deep. the kind of poem that says stuff like, " I wanna fall in love with your genetic make up. Than forget you in my dreams just so I can re-remember you when I wakeup" but I soon realized that this was just a waste of...... depth.
Becuz although it makes complete sense in my head at the end of the day its just a con.......cept.
So I tried to write sumthin tragic but I'm kinda sensitive about all that death stuff so I embarked on sumthin magic.
I tested a bit of that harry potter type stuff, than I sampled a little of that modern type stuff, but I wanted more, so I mixed the two sorta like a fusion.
But as I always do, I realized what's magic to one is just anothers illusion.
So there I am stuck in the realms of my imagination, with the sudden fascination just to write.
And as I looked at what used to be a blank piece of paper I realized sumthin must be right.
Than it hit me, all I needed to do was set my thoughts aside to see.
That these pages weren't filled with the words I wanted to write, but instead they were stained, with the emotion inside of me.

Coming Soon to a Blog Near YOU!

      Our vision here at Lamar De'Lores is to bring substance to those in need of inspiration, spiritual nutrition, an occasional poetic fix, optimism in a sometimes pessimistic world, a creative rejuvenation. In our aspirations to do such, we search to find talented, ambitious, creative individuals with such substance within their own lives. In the upcoming weeks we invite you to lookout for our new addition to the team. This fine young gentlemen is a freelance writer that has been featured in numerous publications at his alma mater, Kalamazoo College. A very well spoken individual with deep introspect into many topics and  is the future of Lamar De'Lores. So again, I invite you in welcoming him to our team within the next couple of weeks!

Poetic Fix

There is only one thing I enjoy more than beautiful women. That is, a beautiful woman who has a way with words. This weeks "Poetic Fix" is definitely something to admire!